It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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