everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
