I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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