Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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