I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
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My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize