obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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