the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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