im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
