I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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