I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
