and my herpes radar will keep us safe
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have tasted many bathrooms
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
