she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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