why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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