I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I touched a dick in church today
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