And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
