He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
That was before I lit my hair on fire
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize