So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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