we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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