I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You are the jesus of drinking
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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