He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize