Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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