I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
