oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
