life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
