Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
no you cant smoke seaweed
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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