If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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