Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
This is the high leading the old right now
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
