they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
