That's intense
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
