It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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