OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so let's talk penis.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
