I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
