evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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