oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
