i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
