office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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