two words...techno handjob
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
