Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
