New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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