Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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