You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
