You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
