You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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