the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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