I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
