If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
