Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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