New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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