Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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