that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out