Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now

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(313): You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now http://tfl.nu/dcco

Replies (2) Good night (2523) Bad night (899)
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(817): View more from Texas

Midnight walks are trippy

(1-817): View more from Texas

I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.

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(817): Midnight walks are trippy (1-817): I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon. http://tfl.nu/r0y6

Replies (9) Good night (3536) Bad night (640)
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(703): View more from Virginia

So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.

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(703): So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out. (1-703): You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend. http://tfl.nu/y4qo

Replies (24) Good night (5316) Bad night (1043)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.

(1-780): View more from Alberta, CA

This is why we're friends.

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(780): If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator. (1-780): This is why we're friends. http://tfl.nu/yp3s

Replies (7) Good night (4533) Bad night (1019)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.

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(901): I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas. http://tfl.nu/166i

Replies (2) Good night (2541) Bad night (783)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.

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(570): I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem. http://tfl.nu/6woq

Replies (3) Good night (2761) Bad night (776)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies

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(318): What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies http://tfl.nu/mqvt

Replies (4) Good night (816) Bad night (1884)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

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(203): How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things. http://tfl.nu/sk0c

Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (852)
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(630): View more from Illinois

You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it

(708): View more from Illinois

So thats why that cop beat my ass?

(630): View more from Illinois

Probably

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(630): You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it (708): So thats why that cop beat my ass? (630): Probably http://tfl.nu/659z

Replies (7) Good night (2273) Bad night (733)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.

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(660): I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst. http://tfl.nu/whde

Replies (10) Good night (871) Bad night (402)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.

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(757): Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there. http://tfl.nu/k4p8

Replies (0) Good night (700) Bad night (322)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.

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(202): Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want. http://tfl.nu/8zxe

Replies (11) Good night (1633) Bad night (343)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off

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(603): Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off http://tfl.nu/n0zv

Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (285)
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(316): View more from Kansas

If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.

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(316): If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple. http://tfl.nu/506q

Replies (0) Good night (497) Bad night (218)
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(707): View more from California

You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.

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(707): You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks. http://tfl.nu/val7

Replies (2) Good night (246) Bad night (474)

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