Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?

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  (301): Is it necrophilia if we're both dead? http://tfl.nu/6pje
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (1111)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.

  (360): View more from Washington

  I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.

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  (503): Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch. (360): I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina. http://tfl.nu/x3ve
  Replies (92) Good night (4806) Bad night (1036)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!

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  (904): sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut! http://tfl.nu/fz7u
  Replies (31) Good night (5880) Bad night (738)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation

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  (303): I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation http://tfl.nu/w0jl
  Replies (9) Good night (6878) Bad night (1158)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.

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  (765): I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome. http://tfl.nu/mczw
  Replies (16) Good night (8076) Bad night (981)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...

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  (770): If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday... http://tfl.nu/nvs1
  Replies (10) Good night (3270) Bad night (751)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.

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  (716): it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours. http://tfl.nu/lt62
  Replies (3) Good night (1665) Bad night (762)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.

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  (440): We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault. http://tfl.nu/4i3v
  Replies (5) Good night (882) Bad night (605)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.

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  (918): She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life. http://tfl.nu/zzux
  Replies (2) Good night (1318) Bad night (837)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.

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  (712): ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was. http://tfl.nu/plh1
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (1139)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog

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  (907): You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog http://tfl.nu/ud9g
  Replies (6) Good night (1098) Bad night (570)
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  (760): View more from California

  Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs

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  (760): Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs http://tfl.nu/ndm8
  Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (353)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future

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  (+44): You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future http://tfl.nu/4nas
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (351)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.

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  (314): When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor. http://tfl.nu/ygxz
  Replies (5) Good night (915) Bad night (333)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage

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  (770): Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage http://tfl.nu/r3c2
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (273)

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