Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..

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(330): View more from Ohio

giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?

(317): View more from Indiana

all hypothetical of course

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(312): View more from Illinois

If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.

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(281): View more from Texas

I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

What are your plans?

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.

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