It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.