and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Green mimosas i think yes
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
