Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.

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  (647): hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight. http://tfl.nu/a6ne
  Replies (4) Good night (900) Bad night (2195)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  You drinking a lot?

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  No.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Define a lot

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  (850): You drinking a lot? (1-850): No. (1-850): Define a lot http://tfl.nu/heqj
  Replies (15) Good night (3112) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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  (636): just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am. http://tfl.nu/ubv2
  Replies (38) Good night (4792) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar

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  (248): it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar http://tfl.nu/5trr
  Replies (12) Good night (3202) Bad night (2175)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could

  (216): View more from Ohio

  did she say where she was going

  (740): View more from Ohio

  apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars

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  (740): so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could (216): did she say where she was going (740): apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars http://tfl.nu/v42j
  Replies (45) Good night (3873) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer

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  (713): I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer http://tfl.nu/b3qs
  Replies (19) Good night (5962) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.

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  (317): Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube. http://tfl.nu/etlx
  Replies (16) Good night (5387) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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  (570): Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger. http://tfl.nu/xwib
  Replies (33) Good night (1717) Bad night (3697)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..

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  (678): there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub.. http://tfl.nu/f53v
  Replies (4) Good night (1316) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.

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  (903): I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/287m
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night

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  (804): I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night http://tfl.nu/3prr
  Replies (1) Good night (1057) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.

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  (917): i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/wmdi
  Replies (11) Good night (1046) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?

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  (816): Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone? http://tfl.nu/wu6u
  Replies (6) Good night (910) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.

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  (256): Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/8lve
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate

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  (206): I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate http://tfl.nu/ugs5
  Replies (0) Good night (262) Bad night (488)

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