dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?