I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
