You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
