Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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