Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
